🎬Hitting new lows

Good morning. If you open your laptop on Monday to find a squared anything, it’ll be because your Rubik’s cube fell out of your bag onto it. We’ll be off on Monday and Tuesday to honour our commitments to Eid-el-Fitr celebrations.

In the meantime, we recommend you honour your commitment to your mum this Sunday.

We’ll be back on Wednesday to hear how your holidays went or tell you what happened in between. Or both. Enjoy your holidays.

— Geraldine Ndzomo, Benyin Ogar.

Currency exchange rates against the dollar as of market close. Here’s what these numbers mean

The ghost of Gaddafi is back for Nicolas Sarkozy

AP Photo

Some ties are eternal, especially when they involve friendship and, most certainly, a cash trail. Former French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, would know a thing or two about this after allegations that his 2007 presidential campaign was illegally sponsored by then Libyan president, Muammar Gaddafi.

Yesterday, French prosecutors requested a seven-year jail term, a 300,000 Euros fine, and a five-year ban that would bar the now 70-year-old from contesting for any public office, an African leader’s worst nightmare.

Not the man’s first rodeo, honestly. Since his failed reelection campaign in 2011, Sarkozy has faced charges of passive corruption, illegal campaign financing, concealment of embezzlement of public funds, and criminal association.

The latest row, involving now-deceased Libyan leader Gaddafi, can be traced back to 2011 when a Libyan news agency and Gaddafi himself said that he had funneled millions of dollars in cash to France to support Sarkozy’s bid. Since then:

  • French investigative outlet, Mediaparte, released what has since been authenticated as a signed funding agreement between the Libyan state and Sarkozy

  • In 2016, Franco-Lebanese businessman Ziad Takieddine told Mediapart that he had delivered suitcases filled with cash from Tripoli to the French Interior Ministry under Sarkozy.

He later retracted his statement. That reversal is now the focus of a separate investigation into possible witness tampering.

In an unfortunate twist of fate, the UK’s Daily Mail newspaper reported in 2012 that Sarkozy commissioned secret service agents to infiltrate local gangs that were trying to locate and assasinate Gaddafi as his regime collapsed in the wake of the Arab Spring.

That being said…Sarkozy has dismissed the Libya allegations as politically motivated and rooted in forged evidence. But if convicted, he would become the first former French president found guilty of accepting illegal foreign funds to win office.- BO.

Underwater exploration hits a new low

BBC Africa

Six people died and nine were injured when a tourist submarine carrying 45 passengers sank off the Egyptian coast Thursday, said provincial officials. They spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to brief the media. Emergency crews rescued 29 people from the sinking off one of the beaches in the tourist promenade area in the Red Sea resort of Hurghada.

In addition to crew members, there were 45 passengers on board, all of them Russian and some of them minors. The submarine, which belonged to the Sindbad Hotel in Hurghada on Egypt’s Red Sea coast, was out on a regular tour to view coral reefs. It sailed off at around 10 a.m. Thursday and sank when it was about 1 kilometer (approximately half a mile) from the shore. Those rescued were taken to hospitals and are in a stable condition, according to the Russian consulate.

It was not immediately clear what caused the submarine to sink.

“After a shower, provided you did a thorough job, it really shouldn't matter what part of you body you dry off first, but it does.”

Around the continent

Greg Wood/AFP

  • There’ll be a partial eclipse over most of Western Africa tomorrow, March 29th.

  • Nigeria’s oil conglomerate, NNPC, is gearing up for an initial public offering.

  • Nigerian payments processing company Paystack rolled out Zap, its first-ever consumer-focused payments app, to offer quick bank transfers.

  • Namibia’s new President, Netumbo Nandi-Ndaitwah, has chosen nine women to be part of her first cabinet.

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